this is absolutely disheartening. sometimes the abuse of power is tolerated and left for the 'other' to give a shit. but when is enough, enough? when is enough to much? on nov 14 a UCLA student was tazered five times over 6 minutes in a nasty exchange with university police. the entire ordeal was videotaped. i caution anyone viewing it that it is difficult to comprehend and just as fascinating to view. not in the same sense as interesting, but fascinating in the respect that in a position of power, ethics and morality seem to escape throught the pores in our head. absolute power corrupts absolutely they say. after watching this, it's hard to argue otherwise. thoughts?
my next day off is next friday. all this work makes me dull, i think. and i'm beginning to realize something. i am finally in a business setting and one in which i have a good handle of the business i'm running. i analyze P&L's, adjust payrolls, recognize trends, predict buying patterns, speculate on what product will be profitable and where in the store will be the best placement; and i hate it. i participate in conference calls, i communicate with other managers within my district, and i present innovative ideas to make my store more profitable. i thought i would like business. i thought i would have what it takes to run one. i do, i just don't find anything intrinsically satisfying about it. the pay is incredible, and, to me at least, it's easy. but, ultimately, i help make the people upstairs have fatter wallets and what it all boils down to is this - my job is a numbers game and that's all it is. in the end, i drive numbers and as long as i do that, i get a paycheck. i don't help anyone. i don't teach anyone. i don't learn anything.
this in mind, in may i'll be receiving a B.A. in psychology. yes, psychology has everything to do with business. business needs people for it to be profitable and psychologists more than anyone else understand the underlying dynamics that dictate human behavior. so i thought, "i love psychology and i love business, so i'll get a psychology undergrad and an MBA." WRONG. i hate business. now that i am knee deep in spreadsheets, i can't stand it.
so naturally, this current feeling of mine prompted me to reexamine what i've been doing for the past 9 semesters and rethink about what aspect of psychology i enjoyed the most. my favorite courses were ones that dealt with some sort of clinical assessment or counseling. my absolute favorite one was psychology of women, not because i love studying about the female psyche, but because it had a community service component. for this course, i was assigned to a lower income community in long beach to tutor at risk youth. my role as an academic mentor comprised of this, facilitating and encouraging the growth of the student in their academic, emotional, and social circumstances. at the time, i thought i enjoyed it because it was fun and rewarding. but looking back at the last 7 years, every instance in which i worked in some sort of community service, i was happy. being a coordinator for science camp was incredible; being a youth coordinator for two years at my church was not only rewarding and fun, it was uplifting; and finally, being an academic mentor to children that may or may not have the opportunities that we take for granted was especially satisfying. i am rethinking my career choices because of this - because helping people do better makes me feel happy. odd huh? ...
the main career i am thinking about? ... School Psychologist.
School Psychologist: Mental health professional that helps children and youth succeed academically, socially, and emotionally. They team with educators, parents, and other mental health professionals to help create safe, healthy, and supportive learning environments for all students that strengthen connections between home and school.
i love psychology and i am good at it, so why not combine it so that i can utilize it in a setting that i have enjoyed so much in the past? ... this may be the winner.
i overslept again today. that means that i missed class, again. and it's not that i'm lazy. it's just, i truly am tired. i have class at 8-1215. i have a 3 hour break until work. and then i work from 3-10. i thought that i can use that 3 hour break to do hw or catch up on readings, but i've only used it for lunch and naps which isn't exactly productive if you ask me. after work i thought i'd be able to routinely have a gym session but instead i just go home, talk on the phone or go to sleep. what fun huh? ....
i'm not adjusting to being both a fulltime employee as well as a fulltime student as well as i thought i'd be able to. at this point in my life finishing my final semester strong is a higher priority than "driving our average selling price and attachment rate", so i might have to make some changes in my current career situation. i mean, i don't plan on staying in a retail setting for long, shit, i don't even plan on staying in retail for another 2 years. whatever.
anyway, that ends my umpteenth bout at complaining on xanga.
halloween is in about a month and the cousins and i will be having a halloween shindig at edsel's house on oct.28. should be LOTS of fun. you have to wear a costume though and the four of us plan to be ninja turtles. hah. that should be pretty dope. i have the next two days of and i have next tuesday off. someone go out with me. i promise it'll be fun.
oh yeah, i posted some new pics on my flickr. they're pretty funny. check check em out.
NOTE
entourage is the best show on television. and ari gold is the best character on television. in tribute to both, watch this clip.
